six months

When I started writing in January, I decided to call this "six months of life in kosovo". It’s an appropriate title, after all. But now the six months are up, and I have been struggling about how to write a conclusion to my story. Is there any really way to summarize a life experience or a place?

But I have to try, so this is my attempt at closure, part one. Please forgive me for its lack of grace…

By yesterday evening, I was feeling overly swamped and my head was working overtime. On the one hand, I've had to pack twice. After deciding what to keep and what to leave (it's amazing how much stuff you can accumulate, even in six months!), I sorted one bag to ship home, and the other to bring backpacking in Europe. But while packing was time consuming, it is not the hard part. That, of course, has been, and will continue to be, the goodbyes.

There are some people I love muchly, and I am confident that we will meet again at some point in the future...in this lifetime.... Maybe they will come to North America to visit -- NYC is always on the travel list of places to see -- or we will meet somewhere in the world for another adventure. One of the greatest things about befriending people from around the world will be going to visit them. Spain, Malaysia, Belgium, England, Sri Lanka, and Prague on the agenda...

But, the reality is that there are many people I expect never to see again, yet who have been a part of my environment for the past half year. I was chatting with the staff yesterday following my final workout at the Pristina Fitness and Bodybuilding Gym (tragic, I know!), and one of the sweetest guys put it fairly accurately: “Have a good life,” he said. There are so many have-a-good-life-ers... The guy at the Dreni Market below my building who smiles each and every time I come for fruit because his brother lives in Canada. The girl at Dragstor (the Dreni’s next door competition), who is young and beautiful and wants to do more with her life, but is stuck working six days a week for 200EUR a month (less than I pay for rent). Albina, the computer-store girl, who waves to me on my way to work. Florim, who sells books across the street from my apartment, and has told me all he remembers about the Jews once living in Pristina. Even the waiters across town who know what I will order and always remember to bring me tap water instead of bottled (Internationals who drink “water normalit” are still rare)...

I have been mentally prepared to leave Kosova for a while now, but I actually had a really good last month here. Last night, sitting out on my balcony and watching the city sleep, it dawned on me that I will, indeed, miss this place.

I am not sad to go, but I will always miss it.

And as I sat there all teary-eyed, I tried to think of what I tell you about Kosova based on what I have learned during the past six months...

From my flat, I can see the university, which is generally corrupt and disorganized, and apartments that are literally crumbling down. The garbage pile behind my building was half-way cleaned-up, though, thankfully, it does not smell. I can see a probably-soon-to-be capital city, Pristina, which is far from glorious. I realise this more each time I leave and return.

It has been six years since the war, and so much had been rebuilt. You can see improvements everywhere. Just last week, amazingly, the water started staying on all night long! But reconstruction efforts are disorganized, and it looks physically as though there is no real strategy for developing in a sustainable way. It is a small country. The sprawl will soon connect villages to the cities and open spaces will disappear entirely. What is built often looks out-of-place, like the McDonald’s in Oxford, and not to mention, nothing is even remotely accessible.

Six year on, and Kosova is still quite a mess. Development here, like the physical reconstruction, is slow.

I have learned much about wars, but most of what I have learned is quite simple... Reconstruction and post-war development are such immensely difficult tasks that they should never have to happen. Period. We must to focus on prevention. The international community hasn’t managed that yet, but it is a necessity.

Stay tuned for more of what I have learned before my flight on Monday.

Same bat time, same bat channel.